My super-attractive girlfriend and I were talking the other day when we began discussing the people we get along with most easily and, conversely, those whom we find hard to enjoy.
I explained that I get along easily with those who can see the bigger picture. Those who don't make a big deal out of little things. Those who are open to discussing new ideas, who understand my sense of humor, and who have a general air of optimism.
Those who I have a hard time getting along with? I thought about it for a little bit. Annoying people. But what makes someone annoying? I surmised that at the heart of it all, I didn't like people who were hypocritical. I know, I know. Deep, right? Real original. I mean, who honestly sees hypocrisy and says, "I think that's fantastic"? But anyway, hypocritical people are the worst.
The thing about hypocrisy is that the more you look for it, the more you see it. And it's the biggest catch 22 in history. By saying I don't like hypocritical people, I am in fact being a hypocrite. It's a humbling thing, really. Try it out for a day. Keep your eyes open for hypocrisy everywhere you go. It starts out fun, and you'll feel really great. You'll see people driving alone in SUVs who ask for their coffee in their own cup so as not to waste (I'm sitting in a Starbucks right now, observing.) But keep looking, and soon the game will stop being fun. You'll get super pissed at someone for cutting you off in traffic. Then a couple miles down the road, realize that you need this exit, and cut over to get off the freeway. But its different for you, right? After all, it was only that one time, and it was only because you didn't want to miss the exit. Right.
I mention all of this because I had an epiphany.* As previously mentioned, I'm at Starbucks right now. I rode my bike here, being as its a beautiful Friday morning and I have some new music on my iPod to listen to. On my way here, I passed by an elderly couple on their bikes. I called out "on your left," then whizzed by. I could have sworn that the old man said something as I went by, but I had my earphones in and could easily have imagined it. Plus, I was going quite a bit faster than the couple, so I figured it didn't matter.
As is usual, my imagination kicked in. You see, I have this deep-seeded suspicion of the world around me. The origins of this suspicion can be easily traced to the movie "The Truman Show," wherein a man lives his entire life on a TV set without knowing, while the rest of the world watches.
What if that old man had been calling out my name? What if he had been trying to tell me something important? A warning, or good company to buy stock in? In fact, what if that old man was really me? Sometime in the future, as an old man, I decide to go back and tell myself some valuable piece of advice. I can't remember exactly where I was on this day, but I know I'm going to be riding down that road. And then, I see myself! I call out my name as I whizz past, but my younger version is too busy listening to "Empire State of Mind" and imagining what it'd be like to be a rich and famous rap star.
And then I'm gone, and my whole trip into the past is wasted. And by now, I bet you're wondering what this has to do with hypocrisy.
Well, if there's another thing I can't stand, it's angsty young people. I've spent some time over the past few years in youth groups working with high schoolers, and that is my number one annoyance with them. They'll tell me about this really harsh dumping they just endured, or some catastrophic event where their sister deleted their video game save data. I can look back at my own life, back on similar experiences, and realize that what was a huge deal back then really didn't make the slightest bit of difference in my life now. When I try to tell them that it's not the end of the world, they get this "you don't know me" attitude. Like my advice is dated or superfluous or stupid. I don't know what it's like. I can't help.
But the thing is, I can. And I'm trying. Believe it or not, you're not the first person to get dumped. To get hurt. To get wronged. But they can't see that a lot of times, so it leads to endless frustrations for those trying to offer advice.** Today, on my bike ride past the old couple, I realized something. That old man didn't have to be an older version of myself in order to offer important advice.
Why is it that I assume I'm the only one qualified to give advice to myself? That old dude had been around for a pretty long time, by the looks of him.*** He probably could have offered a ton of useful advice. I would try to say something like, "no dude, you don't know me." And I bet he'd think of me the same way I think of high schoolers. I wonder if he'd have the patience to keep trying.
Oh, hypocrisy.
Thanks for reading,
-Daniel K
*And naturally, my first reaction was to blog about it. Alright, 21st century!
**One of the reasons I'll never be a youth group leader.
***No offense, old dude, if you're reading this. I might add that your beard was very distinguished.
