I'm not gunna lie, working from 8am to 6pm in at least 80 degree weather with long sleeves, pants, a helmet and a 40lb backpack on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday isn't exactly what I had in mind for my senior summer.
...Then again, I never imagined $4.25 for a gallon of freakin' gasoline or $15,000 for a semester of college, either.
Hmmmm. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm pretty freaked out right now. Yet I can't help but feel that the term "freaked out" doesn't fully illustrate my state of mind.
Let me explain. Right now, I'm...
frustrated with how much EVERYTHING costs,
afraid that I won't be able to keep out of debt for my first year of college,
physically tired pretty much every day due to my crazy job,
scared that I'm not focusing enough time on my spirituality,
feeling guilty because I feel like I'm blowing off my Dayton Friends to spend time with my Minden friends, yet not even spending adequate time with said Minden friends,
falling behind on my daily Bible reading,
out of money until my first paycheck comes next week,
worried because my first paycheck will have to go towards my car, dirt bike, Worldvision, gas and food, and therefore leave little for college savings.
So the closest thing I can come to summing that all up is "freaked out."
Now. Whenever I write a blog similar to this, I try to end on a high note so as to not deter my avid readers from returning because they think I'm too whiny.
Consequently, do I have any avid readers?
Saturday, June 21, 2008
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Finally and At Last...?
"High school is like a girlfriend that you've had for a really long time, and you get super fed-up with her and dump her. But then you remember all the good times you had together."
-A Wise Man
Well there it is. I was on my way to Emily's graduation party the other day and I drove past the four-way stop that leads up to DHS. I thought to myself, wow. I'm never going to have to go there again. I guess that's when it hit me. I want to get out of Dayton, to see the world, to sail the seven seas and wrestle a wildebeest or two. But high school, however much I was tired of it and wanted to get it over with, was essentially the starting block for my life.
Looking at it that way, I'm kinda sad that I was so eager to leave. Amazing what some cliche speeches, maroon robes and annoying tassels can reveal, huh?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"And I spent last night,
Tearing down,
Every stoplight,
And stop sign in this town"
-Relient K, "I So Hate Consequences"
Going into my senior year, that was a sort of an unofficial theme song. Some of my closest friends in my life had just left me in the dust, and I was stuck to high school like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. And however unintentional and beyond our control it was, I still let it get to me.
Looking at it that way, I now have the green light. But as I step on the gas, headed for college, I feel a certain suffocation coming from all the unknowns. Finally free of the rigid schedule and relative predictability of Dayton High, I realize just how much I have to face.
I'm not gunna lie to you... it's freakin' scary!
What am I going to major in? Who will my friends be? What teachers will I like? Which ones will I be unable to stand? How will I pay for those unpredictable costs? Where will I park? Who will I ask to edit my papers? Will it be as windy as it is in Nevada? Where will I find a job nearby? Will the classes be too hard? What will I do for fun? Will I have time to do everything i want to do?
Like it or not, I know the answers to those questions here in Dayton. But where I'm going, I've only got guesses.
But still, I'm ready. One thing I've learned about myself is that I'm sometimes slow to warm up to a concept... but once I catch on, watch out!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
On a quick tangent, I decided last week that graduation is what I picture dieing will be like as a believer. A lot of people I know were really sad about it, wanting me to stay just a bit longer. But I knew that better things were waiting for me, and deep inside, I couldn't wait to see what it was like.
Thanks for reading. Stick around.
-Daniel
-A Wise Man
Well there it is. I was on my way to Emily's graduation party the other day and I drove past the four-way stop that leads up to DHS. I thought to myself, wow. I'm never going to have to go there again. I guess that's when it hit me. I want to get out of Dayton, to see the world, to sail the seven seas and wrestle a wildebeest or two. But high school, however much I was tired of it and wanted to get it over with, was essentially the starting block for my life.
Looking at it that way, I'm kinda sad that I was so eager to leave. Amazing what some cliche speeches, maroon robes and annoying tassels can reveal, huh?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"And I spent last night,
Tearing down,
Every stoplight,
And stop sign in this town"
-Relient K, "I So Hate Consequences"
Going into my senior year, that was a sort of an unofficial theme song. Some of my closest friends in my life had just left me in the dust, and I was stuck to high school like white on rice in a glass of milk on a paper plate in a snowstorm. And however unintentional and beyond our control it was, I still let it get to me.
Looking at it that way, I now have the green light. But as I step on the gas, headed for college, I feel a certain suffocation coming from all the unknowns. Finally free of the rigid schedule and relative predictability of Dayton High, I realize just how much I have to face.
I'm not gunna lie to you... it's freakin' scary!
What am I going to major in? Who will my friends be? What teachers will I like? Which ones will I be unable to stand? How will I pay for those unpredictable costs? Where will I park? Who will I ask to edit my papers? Will it be as windy as it is in Nevada? Where will I find a job nearby? Will the classes be too hard? What will I do for fun? Will I have time to do everything i want to do?
Like it or not, I know the answers to those questions here in Dayton. But where I'm going, I've only got guesses.
But still, I'm ready. One thing I've learned about myself is that I'm sometimes slow to warm up to a concept... but once I catch on, watch out!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
On a quick tangent, I decided last week that graduation is what I picture dieing will be like as a believer. A lot of people I know were really sad about it, wanting me to stay just a bit longer. But I knew that better things were waiting for me, and deep inside, I couldn't wait to see what it was like.
Thanks for reading. Stick around.
-Daniel
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