Today marks my fourth week since arriving here in Denver with Dad in that huge Budget truck and with a mind full of suppressed worries. I say ‘suppressed’ for lack of a better term, although ‘ignored’ may be equally accurate. Sitting at home before I left was a virtual breeding ground for misgivings and doubts. Would I like my roommates? Would classes be too hard? I won’t have enough money to make it. I don’t even know anyone in Colorado, much less Denver. But the minute Dad and I sped away from Carson City down Highway 50, it was like Sauron’s big flaming eye had finally looked away, causing my fears to subside... to be ignored.
Since that first Thursday here at The Ghetto, I have made friends, been challenged, felt guilt and relief, and learned more about God. I have laughed, I have grimaced, I have shook my head in astonishment. I have felt pain and joy, I have felt lonely and accepted. I have felt God’s presence and I have thought, where is He? In other words, life has continued on in much the same way as it did back home. This has been a strange realization for me, since I somehow expected life to be completely different. I thought I’d be a new person with new thoughts and new abilities. And maybe in small ways I am, but overall I’m still Daniel. I’m still me.
But I am encountering some issues, don’t get me wrong. My life back home was far from smooth sailing, and much the same is my experience here. I don’t like to admit it because I spent so much time back home convincing myself that leaving was going to be so easy, but I do have a fair amount of home sickness. It doesn’t really come from sleeping in a foreign place or seeing different scenery. It really comes from my longing to have relationships equal to what I had back in Nevada. I want to sit down with Aaron at Starbucks and tell him all these crazy experiences I’ve been having. I want to flop down on Hans’ couch and huck a pillow or two at his wall to see if his duplex partner is home. Yet I suppose that’s part of growing, isn’t it? And I’m not going to make those friendships sitting around feeling sick for Reno or Dayton or Tahoe. All I can really do is... trust in God and in others. (Funny how life works out, isn’t it?)
2 comments:
Man, it has been really weird without you around here. It's sooo strange to think that I'm a senior. Or at least a kind-of-not-really-one-seventh-of-a-senior. The halls seem so empty at school without you, even though I know that there are more kids than last year. I realized that I have no real friends in my own class. There was you, John, Mike, and Jason. But now you’re all gone. I did everything with you guys, and now I feel like I’ve been left behind on the newest adventure. And I want so badly to be there. You guys were my best friends, and now I’m all alone. My life seems so empty right now. All I've got is Logan in my class, and you know how he is. Other than him, there’s Jason Joyner, Noble, and the Bogalobster. It’s depressing. I miss you man.
P.S. My Chronicle is almost complete. I'd give It about a month before completion. From then on, I'll just be keeping It up to date. However, once I finish it, I'll send you a copy. I think that you'll love it.
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