The Biz

So I'm thinking that I've finally come up with my REAL career. No, it's not Private I (that'll be a hobby, along with writing, fighting crime, and hitchhiking.) It's a job where I can choose my own hours, work where I want, hone my skills, and talk to really awesome people. And it's dang simple! How did I find this miracle job, you may ask? Let me break it down for you:

My first challenge was trying to convert a 5-gallon bucket into a backpack. You see, there are few practical backpacks that can hold a huge bucket, some pots, and a bag of drumsticks very well, so I decided to just use what I had and carry everything in the bucket. Not able to find any nails or sharp metals to poke through the resilient plastic, I resorted to a lighter. Heating up the plastic enough, I used the back end of a spoon to push through, creating four holes. Next I hijacked some rope and looped two sections through the holes, creating a way to secure it to my back.

The hardest part of the night over, I bundled up and headed downtown for the night. Traveling by bike, I made my way through the city, by street and bridges and paths, through neighborhoods, by power plants, and over rivers. Arriving on the 16th Street mall at 11 PM, I set up shop across the street from the ESPN Zone and the Cheesecake Factory. Bike, jacket, and bag set aside, I whipped out my best pair of drumsticks, put a pot out onto the sidewalk, flipped the 5-gallon bucket over, and had at it.

It's quite easy, really. You just have to remember that people only see you for 30 seconds to a minute, so there's no need to come up with a dozen different routines... Three or four will do just fine (remember you can always mix them to create interesting combos!)

It was a bit disheartening at first, because few people even paid attention to me, and there was little foot traffic at all. But after long, the Rascal Flats/Jessica Simpson concert at the Pepsi center got over and the traffic increased significantly. At the end of the first hour, I had a respectable amount of change and dollar bills inside my little pot.

At about this time, Nick and Austin (my RA and one of my RARs) caught up with me. You see, the two of them are pedicab drivers, so they spend their weekends peddling bike-drawn carriages around Denver for tips. Nick told me that a lot of people were over on Larimer Square.* I packed up and headed out, making the short hop over to Larimer. I was kicked out of the square due to a city ordinance, but the policeman informed that I was allowed to play right across the street, in Writer's Square. So play I did, for about an hour or so, exchanging words with a few impressed pedestrians.

Finally, approaching 1 AM, I decided to give Larimer another try. As I was setting up, however, the same ploiceman came up and chased me off, but not before informing me that a real good spot was just down the street, at the corner of Market and 14th. I made my way there and set up, doubting the officers words... there was little foot traffic.

But then at about 1:30 AM, the bars and nightclubs began emptying out.** I made about half of the night's wages in that 45 minute time slot (1:30 - 2:15 AM.) A virtual army of drunk people came staggering by in small detachments, dazzled by the quick-paced rhythms and simple but fun rudiments. The pot filled up quickly and I had to start pocketing some dollars to avoid an overflow. As is synonymous with drunk people, ridiculous behavior followed. Some lady completely tripped over herself, eating it on the sidewalk in front of me. A man with a thick hispanic accent looked me straight in the eyes as if he were on his deathbed and said, "Follow your soul, man. I'm not even American, but you gotta follow your soul." He then proceeded to walk out into the busy intersection, though the glowing red hand protested. A very short women came up to me, almost in tears, and dropped 5 dollar bill in, saying, "God bless you. My brother does this. You gotta have some real balls. God bless you."

By 2:15, the streets were deserted so I packed up and met Nick and Austin at Writer's Square to head home. We enjoyed completely car-less ride through downtown*** to the Car that Nick and Austin drove in earlier. We hooked our bikes onto the rack and headed toward CCU.

I dunno if it was during the peaceful ride through downtown at 3:00 AM or on the cramped car ride home during our awesome story-swapping session or when I counted my money to find I had made $81.50 and a can of Copenhagen in 3.5 hours, but sometime during that night I decided that this would be an excellent job.

So basically, it’s the ideal career choice for me. I can have fun, be out late, and feel free all at the same time. I guess all that remains would be to change my name to something more adventurous...


Thanks for reading,

-Dan-O The Bucket Boy, Street Musician





*Larimer is where tons of bars/nightclubs are located.
**Places that serve alcohol must be closed by 2 AM in Denver.
***Seriously... It was like I Am Legend. No one was on the streets, so they were completely open to us... Weaving between lanes, through red stoplights, and up one-way streets.