Right or Wrong?

Winter's almost here. According to the last three years of my life, I should have a tight knot in the pit of my stomach. I should be dusting off the headgear and buying new mat shoes. I should be laughing on the outside, cringing on the inside at the rumors of how Coach is going to be a lot more intense this year.

But this year it's different.

I've decided not to do wrestling this time around. And now I'm not sure if that decision was right or wrong. I keep going back and forth on weather I was a genius or an idiot.

I do feel happy. I'm happy I don't have to wake up at 4:30am on Saturdays and travel via freezing cold bus to some remote Nevada town. I'm happy I don't have to worry about whether or not Trinity (Badass) Perkins will be in my weight class. I'm happy I don't have the pressure of having to win matches in front of the rest of the team and all the parents hanging over my head. I'm happy I get my Christmas break to myself and I don't have 2-a-day grueling practices during which I sprint up and down the water tower hill and do push up after push up. I'm happy I can eat whatever I want and not have to worry about jogging it off under ten pounds of clothes the next afternoon. I'm happy I can hang out with friends after school and keep a job.

But at the same time, I find myself doing something I thought I never would. I'm already missing wrestling season. I'm going to miss the companionship you build with the team when you all survive the first week of hellish practice. I'm going to miss dumb jokes like the Boga Lobster or The Toto. I'm going to miss the exhilaration you get when you catch someone on their back and hold them their with all your strength. Call me a jock, but I'm going to miss the feeling of sweat pouring off your body as you throw someone down on the mat. I'm going to miss the shockingly sharp contrast of exiting a wrestling gym - cooking hot from all the action and the fans, and screaming loud from the coaches and the officials - and walking out into the crisp, calm Northern Nevada winter's day. But most of all, I'm going to miss that incredible feeling you get when you can feel your opponent weakening and weakening as the seconds tick off the clock late into the third period, until you plow them over and go in for the pin.

But then again, Knarr won't be coaching this year and all the seniors from last year are obviously gone, which means that the season would be dramatically different from what I remember. And I really need a job this winter to save up for this summer's shenanigans. And (this is the first time I've ever admitted this,) but i really do hate the singlet we have to wear for competition. But maybe that's just because I don't have a six-pack.


Later,

Daniel


P.S. On a totally unrelated subject, I was listening to the song "Love Song" by Third Day on a mix CD a friend burned me a while ago. After it was done, the CD just kept going on in silence. I wasn't really paying attention, so I didn't care. Then suddenly I heard an unfamiliar song. And I remembered - the reason "Love Song" had been put on the CD in the first place was for this hidden track. So I listened. And listened. Over and over I played it, the song captivating me anew each time.

Take my heart and help me feel

Take my faith and make it real

Take my eyes and help me see

All the love surrounding me

Don't let me go

Hold me close to where you are

Don't let me go

Take my heart,

Take all of me

Take my loss and take my gain

Take my trials and take my pain

Take my life and let it be

All that you would have for me

"It's quite beautiful, really."